Bee's hive

hi! am bee! am disabled nonverbal autistic writer, artist, and general overall creative!

bee non-binary and bee pronouns are star/stars

icon by @greysdawn

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beefox reblogged autiestella
beefox -

ableds never get making/using cute disability aids make happy. they maybe think is weird but!! disability aids part us! make cute and buy cute is part self expression! part happy! like ableds pretty up their phones, disabled pretty up their canes! ableds buy cool jumpers, disabled buy cool bags for medical things! ableds wear cute underwear, disabled wear cute diapers!

just cause we disabled, no mean we no like make pretty disability things. they part of us, they in lives constant. medical stuff extremely boring dull white gray. you try wear only white gray no patterns every day rest of life, is no fun! even if abled think is weird, making disability aids cute and cool is part of disabled culture and identity.


autiestella -

100% this!!!

plus some ppl find "obvious medical stuff" is trigger, & may associate w bad times in hospital, treatment gone wrong, bad times in school/community/home ... etc etc, all sorts which want avoid

aswell, atleast how stella see, style & disability both make person "stand out" to world at large - so why not atleast make stand out in same fun way? disable ppl deserve right to fashion & express too!


ableds never get making/using cute disability aids make happy. they maybe think is weird but!! disability aids part us! make cute and buy cute is part self expression! part happy! like ableds pretty up their phones, disabled pretty up their canes! ableds buy cool jumpers, disabled buy cool bags for medical things! ableds wear cute underwear, disabled wear cute diapers!

just cause we disabled, no mean we no like make pretty disability things. they part of us, they in lives constant. medical stuff extremely boring dull white gray. you try wear only white gray no patterns every day rest of life, is no fun! even if abled think is weird, making disability aids cute and cool is part of disabled culture and identity.


bee have learnt that printing own fabric pattern is thing and now want make fabric look like overalls in drawing of bee @autiestella did while back so can make overalls look like!


beefox reblogged supermario
supermario -

Listen, pal, cursing ain't easy. It's gonna cost you if you want me to curse you and your entire bloodline. I'm talking at least twenty dollars for a good curse. Maybe ten if you don't care about quality.


fallow -

see i thought you were trying to tell me i coudlnt say fuck


supermario -

Curse of can't curse: only twenty dollars for every swear to be censored with the most annoying beep possible! Ten dollars and a few "fucks" and "dammits!" might slip by.


beefox -

the plot to The Good Place


beefox reblogged mcatnip

ask meme: nobody asks me anything and i do the fuckibg gender quiz anyway

[source]


mcatnip -

@beefox commented:

do it

[here it is :D]


beefox -

love!!


beefox reblogged autiestella
autiestella -

stella want give quickk piece on smth cause saw on tumblr:
"why do i look/seem/feel 'more' autistic as adult than as child?"

sevral reasons can all be involve here!

  • pressure as child/teen to "fit in" becoming unlearn + unmask as adult

  • pressure as child/teen to "fit in" making adult snap & burn out

  • adulthood bring more responsibility, more stress, & more place where less obvious issue (if even present in childhood) now able show

  • ppl as you grow up just not help learn world right, now need compensate + try learn & navigate own way

promise, if you adult who feels this way, you not alone
is not just autism experience either, can be any disability, mental illness, chronic illness... etc etc - just autism is stella best POV xP


beefox -

also also: as get older more stress maybe lead autistic burnout, which can make traits more obvious and harder mask


beefox reblogged jadewyton
jadewyton -

‘Are you real?’ she asked.

Scaychie hesitated. ‘What?’

‘Are you real?’

‘I.... Uh, yeah.’

‘Oh, good!’ the woman stood up straighter, tucking her wings behind her back and pushing her hair out of her eyes. ‘Sometimes it’s hard to tell. You know?’

‘N... no,’ Scaychie answered, feeling her brow furrow at the strange woman.

‘Oh, well...’ the woman’s ears flicked back. But then, they flicked back up and she smiled. ‘I’m Keeyata. What’s your name?’

Scaychie just eyed her.

When she didn’t reply, Keeyata’s ears folded back down, and she stepped forward, gently placing a hand against Scaychie’s shoulder before pulling back and letting out an anxious laugh. ‘Oh, ah— Hah, you are real!’

‘I said that,’ Scaychie grunted.

‘Yes, but you may have been lying.’

Scaychie just shrugged.

‘Uhm...’ Keeyata shuffled again. Then offered another nervous grin. ‘I’m Keeyata. What’s your name?’

Again, Scaychie stared. And again, Keeyata edged forward.

‘Am I speaking?’ Keeyata asked. ‘Out loud?’

Scaychie sighed, and nodded. ‘Yes. Yes you are. My name’s Scaychie.’

‘Oh, that’s a nice name,’ Keeyata’s grin grew, before she held out a hand.

‘What do... do you want something?’ Scaychie asked. ‘Why are you...’

She trailed off as Keeyata slowly took her hand and gave it a timid shake.

‘What... is this?’ Scaychie asked.

‘Hello,’ Keeyata said, giving another shake. ‘Mother Tarasi said this was polite.’

‘How... is touching my hand polite?’ Scaychie grimaced. What kind of... weird custom was this?

‘I’m not sure,’ Keeyata responded. ‘I never understood it. But Mother Tarasi said to always do it when saying hello. Because it’s polite.’

‘Mm,’ Scaychie felt herself frown as she pulled her hand away. Then she leant forward and butted her head against Keeyata’s. ‘Well, uh.... Hello. I guess.’

‘Wh—‘ Keeyata’s eyes widened and she stumbled back, as if Scaychie had butted her hard. ‘What the fuck?!’

‘I was saying hello,’ Scaychie snorted. ‘That’s how dassens greet each other. Were you raised felinic or something?’

‘No, no, Mother Mairas was dassen,’ Keeyata replied. ‘But my brother and I are from Canis! With wolvens?’

‘Yes. Wolvens,’ Scaychie grunted.

‘Was that really how you say hello?’

‘Yes...’ Scaychie trailed off as she spied Linzor a little ways off.

Keeyata seemed to notice her tense, and glanced to see what she was looking at.

‘Oh! Linzor!’ Keeyata ran to her brother. ‘Linzor!’

‘What?’ Linzor growled.

‘Scaychie showed me how dassens say hello! Can I show you?’

Linzor rolled his eyes and gave a huff. ‘Fine.’

She headbutt Linzor so hard he fell over.


bee doing math:


beefox reblogged fallow

fallow -

31/7/2020

[id: a colored digital doodle of Commander Peepers from Wander Over Yonder. He's a small humanoid with an eye for a head, and he wears a black-and-red uniform and a helmet with a lightning spike on top. His arms are crossed and he looks off to the side with his eye half-closed. end id.]


beefox reblogged semi-entropy

skeleton wizard.... yea


beefox reblogged autiestella

hyperimmersion

autiestella -

state where piece of media change perspective on self, others, and/or world at large
media may not always be special intrest/hyperfixation, so long as able focus & invest

stella metaphor it as pair of glasses, where clarity in seeing is determine by whichever media engage
as well, not same as hyperempathy, delusion/hallucination, daydream, kinshift, or front switch in systems, but may happen alongside and/or influence em

possibilitys:

  • thoughts absorb art/writing style of media, appearance of characters, etc
    ... thinking "anger" as image of character strike wall w fist, in matching art style
    ... thinking "i need help" as if sentence written in style of a series of unfortunate events

  • thoughts take on terms & refrences of media, esp unintentionly
    ... calling cat purrloin, glameow, meowth, or other feline pokemon name

  • analyse others (or self) as "acting like" character, in memory or in present

  • compare events in life to events in media - often as comfort

  • emulate character, intentional or not
    ... copy style of speech and/or slang
    ... copy actions, esp if as stim
    ... pride in own traits which similar to character, and/or important within media
    ... invest self in same hobbys & intrests, regardless of prior experience/desire

  • ordinry actions just "feel like" media


dentist done, dentist is nice, but still no like. no scratchy thing though


@autiestella

yes but still hate


dentist time


@autiestella

scratchy thing, taste, smell, fingers, lights, bleh bleh bleh bleh


dentist in 25 minute

already want cry


dentist today hate hate hate

;-;


beefox reblogged poelantern
poelantern -

current emotion:

the conflict between chew stims and masks


beefox -

bee feel this this every day have go out ;-;


want scream brain no words no


beefox reblogged jadewyton

Pros:

-Look at him!

-LOOK at hiM!!!

Cons:

-How DARE you???


beefox reblogged jadewyton

Pros:

-Cute

-Voice of reason

-Will share her food with you

Cons:

-Stubborn

-Will not hesitate to kick your arse

-Would fight a god


beefox reblogged autiestella
autiestella -

so wonder abit

is just stella, or do anyone else unpower & unplug personl electronics when storm happen??

obv some stuff not practical unplug, or maybe easy enough replace if damage, but if smth like computer? NOPE, unplug it goes. not want risk even if light storm - lightning still lightning, never know what maybe hit


babushka -

i thought thay was kind of a safety rule


autiestella -

was always what stella get taught! glad know stella not alone, from other responses >:3c

fear of electrocute if happen touch running electronic while lightning hit power line, & even if not, is p much certain said electronic will FRY from lightning surge

stella guardians meanwhile always ignore rule like this ... no matter how bad weather. guess they think is too unlikely - which maybe, but... never actuly know! esp cause few years back, went w/o power for ... 2 days? cause storm had messed some stuff UP & ppl need do proper maintenance now

not same situation, but still kindof open stella eyes to, oh yea, this stuff can go wrong & storm unpredictable


beefox -

reason people used do this is cause technology used not best at handle electrity be weird! is better now so no have to worry too much!

interesting similar thing as why not meant take shower/bath thunderstorm! house used use metal pipe for pipes, and wire that lightning go through so is not go in house but into ground used be attach to pipe, but now that not allow! so is why people used no take shower thunderstorm!


bee mum seem think bee choose not speak. bee no choose this. no hate but no choose. really upset cause it.

all cause bee used be able talk (with lots difficulty! bee mum even acknowledge that bee had lots trouble!)


beefox reblogged supermario

An enchanting site left to ruins.


[Pic ID: A screenshot of a build in Minecraft. A stone brick ruins lies in a plains biome, with moss and cracks on its walls. The remains of stained glass windows still rest on some of the walls. A grindstone and barrel are fixed inside the walls, and many book shelves form a circle around an enchanting table. Four lapis lazuli blocks are dispersed around the ruins, with a single gold block atop one of the walls. Blackstone makes up the floor. End ID.]


beefox -

love this!!


bee had weird dream where was in sort of loop?

in loop would see flash some symbol then wake up on train, then "hunt" with other person third person, third person get away and second person and bee talk about stuff

then bee would find group sort of thing and would be cut up plastic bottles and things to help environment?

then with group would start vandalising with stickers of group symbol and stuff

then bee find self on train with lots people wearing sort vr goggles, and sort of out of it? bee think they hypnotized? but bee start put stickers on goggle things with other people

then bee question "why group putting goggle things on people? how this help environment?"

then one of people of group put goggles on bee, and bee see same symbol of group for second, then dream start over and bee no remember last loop

was weird dream


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